there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
