I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
whose parrot is this?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
