my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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