I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
