Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
zippers are such a cool invention
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize