I got chris browned last night
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
