just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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