My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
