I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
