my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
