Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
