I'm drive I can fine osifer
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
