I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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