Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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