I wish I only lived at night.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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