so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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