Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
