I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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