I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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