You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
