Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
