Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Please, let me fuck your mom
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
