where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
