did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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