But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
