at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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