she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
