so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
