I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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