Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
