You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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