i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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