just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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