He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
