its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
