I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
