they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
