people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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