i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
