Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
