you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
