Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
