On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
