so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize