I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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