Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
