you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
