Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
