would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
