How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
