Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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