that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
