walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I want a musical about memes.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize