The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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