Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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