you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We left the knife in your bed.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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