He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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