You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
