its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
