Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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