I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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