Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
