I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
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