Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize