sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I want her autograph on my taint
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
