I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
